Tsunami

My Husband dreamt we were in a Tsunami

We were trapped inside a house in an air bubble

Holding each other tight as the water surrounded the building 

Were we scared? I asked him,

Hoping it was his usual adventure dream where we would swim to the surface

Saving women and children in addition to ourselves.

‘Yes we were scared,’ he said. We were absolutely bloody terrified.

April was a tough month. Financially frightening,

Our future still looks uncertain.

Physical and emotional illnesses erupted to the surface

And several rejections from art funds and government support schemes

Causing blind panic on occasion so overwhelming that we would be lying

If we told you we had not considered,

On more than one occasion,

Leaving it all behind. And not in a good way.

But we think of the sadness that this would cause

And what would happen if one survived, it would break the other

Over and over and over again with grief, remorse and guilt.

Explaining to friends and family why we didn’t ask for help

And took that most drastic, mostly untalked about, path.

So together we will keep going, dreaming of the rainbows that must appear

After the Tsunami. Planning the visits, the contacts, the arms that will envelop us

That and other little things to keep us from drowning.